Top eleven – female celebs I wish would walk into oncoming traffic

11. Dina and Alley Lohan

Like a dirty cling-on stuck to my ass after a taco bell bowl-blaster, these two turds refuse to let go and be flushed away with the rest of the untalented annoying shit in Hollywood. A mother clinging to her youth by vicariously living through her two daughters and a useless little girl who aspires to be like her older, rehab attending, crab infested whore of a sister.

10. Vanessa Hudgens

If it wasn’t for the naked pics of this ho bag (here, here, and, I would swear she was a retarded Spanish guy with down syndrome. With even less talent than she has attractiveness – and that’s none, this chick has somehow managed to smear here hairy box all over the internet, yet still be signed on to continue the High School Musical franchise by Disney. Not a single parental protest, argument, or ban was brought on against Disney for continuing to promote this girl to the teens and children of our society.

9. Tila Tequila

Another overrated pile of gutter trash who has nothing to offer – besides 2 gelatinous molds that were implanted – she is a fame whore who will do anything and everything to hold on to her  overly expired 15 min. of fame. “What? My ratings are down and people are tired of my annoying laugh and fake tits? Well… umm….what if I try to become a lesbian. No, I can’t do that I have a BF. Ok how about I become bi?”

8. Kim Kardashian

God I wish this chick would waddle her fat, chunky, Haagen Dazs eatin’ ass, right the fuck into an oncoming semi. She has no talent, a gigantic ass, contributes nothing to society, so naturally, why shouldn’t she be on tv? And be considered a model? And have a work out DVD? (HAHAH yeah you read that right.) And have an apparel line?

7. Denise Richards

This girl had potential. She had that sweet lesbian scene in Wild Things, not too shabby role in a 007 film, and her huge tubes were pretty nice to look at. And then she opened her mouth. This chick has to be borderline retarded, not one intelligent thing has ever come out of her mouth. I would love to watch a debate on The Global Economic crisis between her and Jessica Simpson. Screw Dancing with the has beens, let’s make that happen.

6. Audrina Patridge

Two years ago this hooker couldn’t even get into Hyde, and now she is getting paid $10,000 a night appear at Pure and drink for free. (P.S. those are Hollywood bars. Yeah, I know, I’m a big deal) It’s absolutely amazing what a pair of fake tits and a “mysteriously leaked” set of nude photos can do for you in this world. Unattractive and her teeth look like those fake ones people buy at Halloween. They’re so goofy and big she can barely close her lips around them. And the icing on the cake… Nose hair! Yes, nose hair. (here) That shit ain’t cool.

5. Heather Mills

This gold-digging, pain in the ass, self absorbed ass clown could drop dead tomorrow and I would walk around whistling and singing high praises. Paul Mccartney’s ex-wife, who after the divorce walked away with $53 Million of Paul’s Hard earned money, has reportedly already burned through $20 mil since the settlement.

4. Lindsay Lohan

What happened to that sweet and innocent funny girl who was in Mean Girls? That Lindsay would not be on this list. She was awesome and had potential. Instead, that Lindsay has been replaced and transformed into a fake, slutty, chain-smoking, splotchy fake tan covered creature, who’s vagina probably rivals most leading female porn stars for amount of random cock that has been inserted into it. Although deep down, I’d miss those big floppy freckled tubes of hers, she needs to hold hands with the rest of her family and play “let’s try to cross the PCH blindfolded during rush hour”.

3. Paris Hilton

God. There aren’t enough words in the English language for me to describe my utter loathing of this f*ck-tard. Completely useless, annoying, and any guy who says she is attractive should have his dick ripped off and force fed down his own throat. Her fucking lazy eye creeps the shit out of me, her nose is just.. uhhh…. … .. Sorry, I just threw up in my mouth a little having to look at her and write for this long about her. And is it me, or does anyone else not see the amazing reseblence between her and the chicken lady from Kids in the Hall.

2. Amy Winehouse

Oh shit, here comes that vomit again. Just fucking, die already would you. How many times can one junkie be rushed to the hospital for O.Ding and still continue to resurrect themselves the next week and do it all over again. If there were ever a human being that more closely resembled an undead zombie, this bitch would be it. Fucked up jibbs, skin and bones, long creepy arms and hands, rashes, track marks, and impetago all over her body. If I didn’t know who she was and saw her stumbling around in the street I’d probably start beating her with a baseball bat thinking that the apocalypse had begun and Satan’s demons had started walking the earth.

1. Miley Cyrus

Absolutely, positively hate this excuse of a human being. She is annoying, uber pretenious, obnoxious, spoiled, looks like some kind of mutated chipmunk, and when she opens her mouth to speak I have to restrain myself from grabbing the closest sharp object and repeadedly jabbing my eye’s out with it. Why, why, why did Bobby Joe Cyrus have to go and create this fucking creature. Only 15 years old and she has just recently finished her memoirs. Give me a fucking break. If there is a god she will be struck by a paparazzi who loses control of his car while getting blown by the next unknow fame whore who he promised to photograph and send it off to TMZ.

Stumble it!


2 responses to “Top eleven – female celebs I wish would walk into oncoming traffic

  • sikk

    No way. I actually wish 9 out of those 11 would walk on to my d**k. Not literally, but you get what I mean.

  • Celia

    Hrrmmm, not too sure I agree with all these. Personally, I love Vanessa Hudgens and Miley Cyrus, and Audrina Patridge is gorgeous IMO. But yeah, I’ll agree with the rest.

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